A · Journal · of · a · Dreamer

Emmanuel and I got up @ 8:00am to go buy a 46" tv, a PS3, 1 game, and 1 movie for $950. We really didnt need a tv, our 32" tv was just fine but Emmanuel insisted that it was an awesome deal and we should get it. I think he would've gotten whether I chipped in or not.

We dont really need a PS3 but its also a blue ray player which is nice.

Im so tired but im congested and not feeling well and if i cant breath through my nose I cant sleep.

I saw Pearl Harbor (2001) last night for the first time. I stayed up until 1:00 to see what happens. It was amazing! I've never used that word to describe a movie but it was. I know a lot of people didnt like it because of the historical inaccuraties but it fulfilled its purpose, it entertained me. Wow even the whole bombing scenes was eye catching. Emmanuel and I just sat there silent except for me saying 'wow' and 'oh god'. I've always been fascinated with history stuff and Pearl Harbor has interest me since HS. I thought it was a really good movie. Not my favorite or even one of my favorites but it diffently caught my eye.

I went crazy today Christmas shopping. I got christmas lights (to many), tree stand, stocking holders since we dont have a fire place, christmas tree skirt, and my star for the top of the tree. Plus I got the rest of Emmanuels gifts and my mom gifts (go Yankees.com for 20% all purchases). My lights right now are a hot mess. I wanted my icicle lights around the balcony and then rigular white lights around the door. Well I had to many regular lights so there around the door and my chairs out there haha. Hey at least I finally got my lights. =o) I went shopping with my dad. It was suppose to be my mom and I but she had to work, I would've invited Emmanuel but I had a feeling my dad would've liked a father daughter thing. He rushed me though. I dont mind being a fast shopper if I know what I want but I didnt and wanted to look. I was going to get the cats something but forgot I might head back out there since I need *one* more thing for emmanuel, nutella to put in his stocking.

I was trying to find something to do on my birthday, argh I hate my birthday, and I always wanted to go to the National Zoo light show. Animals plus lights *smiles*. They have a date night on Friday Dec. 18th. I sent a link to Emmanuel maybe as a hint. Sounds fun.

I've been off work for 5 days. I do not want to work tomorrow 10 hours grrr.

I just got Alicia Keys new song off itunes, try sleeping with a broken heart. Another awesome song by her. I also got Pitbull's I know you want me. I was watching MADE on MTV and these kids wanted to be back up dancers while he sings his song and since I've heard it i wanted it. I usually dont like regeatone or rap but its catchy and im going to drive emmanuel crazy with it.

I hate black friday. What a day to make christmas seem THAT much more superficial. Hey lets stand in line @ 6:00 on thanksgiving so we can buy a sucky ass computer and tv instead of spending time with my family. I worked two black fridays at Best Buy and it kind of just shows how ugly people are. Running inside the store to find a video game or a gps. There were about two malls who opened at midnight thanksgiving. Those poor people! They really didnt get to spend time with there family on thanksgiving and they are probably getting paid $7.00 an hour and at least for Emmanuel you HAVE to work at least 10 hours on black friday.

I wasn't going to go out today cause I dont have money. But I may do a little cleaning and go to Best Buy to see the after math (the rush only last 2 hours or so) and get Benjamin Button for $6 if they still have it.

Argh my parents have a way of ruining a nice holiday season. I love Christmas, one of my favorite holidays. I made the mistake of telling mom that I'm afraid Emmanuel won't get me anything to Christmas cause he doesnt seem to care or hasnt done any shopping. This is something I've told Emmanuel to and he said he just doesnt know what to get me. Ok thats fine whatever (even though he bought me a Nook which he said he got an e-mail saying it wasnt going to be here until January but i dunno about that).

So fast foward to today and my dad tells me that when he and mom got married they always got each other alot for Christmas and made it special *blinks* ok? We're not them. We don't have the money. I love giving gifts for Christmas, I can't help it I dont know what I want. I hate how they bash Emmanuel like hes not good enough for me. Actually, him buying the Nook cost more than everything I've gotten him so far so if we're talking about spending money, which isnt what Christmas is about, he has beat me. Emmanuel came from a family where they didnt buy tons of things. The first christmas we were together his mom got him head phones for his computer and a cd player. Mom says hes been celebrating christmas with us for 4 years with us he should know how we do it. Its OUR christmas tradition now. Whatever we do, we do.

Took Goober to the specialist monday. Only cost me $206 + the persciption med he gave me which was $16. Im suppose to bring him back every 2 1/2 weeks for 10-14 weeks so he can get two shots. Argh bye bye money. Dr. thinks he just has a bad bacterial infection and it doesnt help he keeps scratching it. Hopefully this will help. I can tell its getting better though.

Hope everyone had a good thanksgiving!

Saw New Moon last night. I was going to wait a week or two until the teeny boppers died down but Emmanuel was willing to pay so why decline?

Overall the movie itself was good. I'm not a fan of the second book and like my friend said it was very anti climatic which is my feelings towards the book. Visually it is a good movie that was made. Just for storyline reasons I like Twilight better lol. I dunno though, it was a good movie and I'll probably go see it with my friend before it leaves theaters. Jacob was really good. Once he popped up on screen all these girls swooned. lol.

I of course got stuck next to 6 teenagers. Three were boys and three were girls. The three boys made fun of the movie and were loud and saying stupid shit. Then the three girls would giggle. I gave the one guy next to me a dirty look and that shut him up. Or I would somewhat loudly tell emmanuel "cant they be quiet?". Two girls stood up in front and were like "can you please stop talking, its getting juicey" haha juicey. They had left the theater i thought they were going to get management but they came back w/ no management. Eventually about 40 mins left in the movie they shut up for the most part. I was so mad though. Emmanuel kept telling me to breath lol. He said he was going to say something to them but thought it would be pointless to argue with 16 year olds. Why spend $10.75 on tickets and talk through the movie? Grrr.

Hmm Dexter (or Buggy as we call him because he has bug eyes) is doing well. Hes like the annoying little brother that wants to be around Goober all the time and Goober gets annoyed and tackles him. They have there moments though.

Gotta take Goober to the dermatologist today. Im not worried about the doctor not knowing what to do, ive heard really good things about him im more worried about how much its going to cost and how many times I have to go out there because I cant drive there myself. So the more times I have to go out there the more its going to cost. Argh.

I found this channel that shows old shows. I use to watch this show That's Life about an italian family in jersey (thats not in the mafia lol). It was on for two seasons. Really good show.

Now pictures of my kitties:

( Orange love )

Soooo my mom got me a new kitten as an early bday present. His name is Dexter (it doesn't really flow though, when I say Dexter I think if serial killer, not cute loveable purring kitty).

Goober is handling like a pro. Hopefully when Dexter (or Emmanuel calls him Buggy cause he kind of have bug eyes) gets bigger they can play more often and it will be fair.

I spoke with my parents and Emmanuel with what we would do with OJ, Emmanuel's anniversary present last year and our older cat, and since he has been out of our house since August last time I brought Goober over to my parents house he was terrified of OJ (OJ=20lbs Goober=6lbs). I dont think its good to keep such a big kitty stuck in a small apartment where he has no where to run in where at my parents house my dad takes him outside and he has plenty of room to run. So for the best I think OJ is going to stay there for the time being.

Emmanuel wasn't to upset about it (if it was up to him we have no cats). He didnt exactly know we were getting a new kitty and I really didnt either it was surprise so he was kind of cold at first but than once you look in those big blue eyes his heart melted and I believe he said 'I love you Buggy' today =o)

I was talking to my friend at work about tattoos. She was telling me how she wants another one, whats its like, how much hers cost, the care of it. All this stuff. She was coming up with ideas for me haha. It got me back on the 'i want a tattoo' idea. I had suggested to Emmanuel to buy me a tattoo for my birthday since he didnt know what to get me. He said he didnt like the idea because hes afraid i will regret it or won't like it and blame him since he bought it. I told him I would probably be more into it if he...supported? the and was ok with me getting a tattoo. He said he would be ok with it and he would hold my hand while i got it lol. I think after Christmas and Goober ear heals I may get one. I think its also been holding me back is I have no one excited with me. So this girl at work was excited with me and gave me advice and what not.

I told my mom yesterday I was like "I dont care if you tell dad or not but im seriously thinking about getting a tattoo" and she was like "eww what would you get?" and I told her and she was like "your going to be that child aren't you? The one who just does whatever she wants especially if she gets an idea in her head' and i was like 'yep' haha. Shes the 'cool' parent. My dad thought it was dirty when we were little and had ink or marker on our hands lol.

I was at Best Buy last night and I say they had the Sony Reader. I didnt think I would be impressed with it but I was. Im someone who likes to hold books, turn the pages, etc etc. But i was really impressed. So I started doing research on the Kindle and Barnes and Nobles has one coming out called the Nook. I'm kind of leaning towards the Nook. I told Emmanuel I wanted one of the two (since Sony's Reader didnt seem that impressive compared to the other two) and he said he would research it and get me one for my birthday. Argh, all the good presents I get on my birthday lol. When it comes to my Nicholas Sparks books, vampire books, or any other collections I have I'll buy those but if I get a biography or a one time only book like Water for Elephants I would probably get it via internet. Plus they're like $10 or less. That would save me a lot of money.

We had caterers come to the office today sent by some specialist.

They had AWESOME food.

They had AWESOME...i dunno what it was, biscuits corn beard it was just so good. I made the mistake and only got one though. I can't find them on line! I'm hoping we kept some of the food that had the caterers name on the boxes and I'm hoping they are like a restaurant or something. It was soooo good *drools*

Ok im going to go get ready for the game. Yay Yankees!

Its been dark for about an hour now and no frickin trick or treaters. =o( Felt like giving the chinese delivery guy all my candy because hes going to be the only person to knock on the door. Lazy bums dont want to come to the third floor. I've even hung a ghost on my door that screams 'knock on the door, i have candy!'

I made the mistake of driving past these condos/townhouses near the hospital one day and saw that one is for sale. *blinks* I've always wanted to live in those places, they're built differently than all the other places around here. Well of course you go to Long and Fosters website and they have the mortgage being $587 a month. Im sure its at the perfect interest rate and just the right amount for down payment. I heard on HGTV that if you meet the criteria for the $8000 tax credit money back you could use that for the down payment. I should just drop it, be happy with what we have right now.

Took Goob back to the vets today. The vet said we have to take him a dermatologist because he doesnt know what to do with him =o( I was so sad on my way home, started crying. Its going to be expensive and I can never get ahead of the game and just have money to save or buy something for myself. The vet said it wouldnt be to expensive about '$100-$150' just for the visit. Thats a crap load of money when you get paid shitty. Plus if they want to do test or the medicine they give is probably going to be heavy duty expensive meds. Emmanuel said he would help pay. I guess its the only choice i have, he cant have a busted ear the rest of his life.

***Edit***

I just had three trick or treaters come to the door. =o) Its weird cause my neighbor is handing out candy too and I've never talked to him so you hear him talking to the kids the same time I'm talking to them.

Happy Halloween!!

I'm going to venture into the baseball world and watch the first world series game in probably 5 years. Deep breaths...

I got mad at Emmanuel earlier. Im just so annoyed/fusterated with him I dont know what to do. He says "make me a list of things to do and I'll do it" I ask him to do the dishes. Well I come home from lunch and he has done half of the dishes like he always does. He goes to work at 2:20 and he woke up at 7:00am. I ask him before I leave if hes going to finish the dishes and he said when he gets home from work.

*blinks*

I could've done them when I get home from work then. He gets mad saying he didnt know there was a time limit when it came to doing chores. WTF? It just makes sense, if I want you to do something do it BEFORE I come home from work if not I can just do it myself if I'm going to look at dishes in the sink.

Then I ask if he can put some paint into a container for me so we can give mantinence there big paint bucket back. I wanted this done tomorrow so when we drop the rent check off (since Sunday is the first, just makes sense to pay it now). Well he gets mad saying we dont need to save the paint (he painted over booboos on the wall and the next day Goober shakes blood from his ear on the wall, yeah I like to keep it clean looking). So I dont know what to do. Hes off work tomorrow. I always have to spend one of my days off cleaning/doing laundry. Its not fair. I need his help in keeping this place looking decent and I've told him this before.

Lets not even start on him needing to apply to job openings and not doing it. If I hear how he hates Best Buy one more time I think I might flip.

(Its a 'i'm mad at Emmanuel post' tonight)

Today one of the doctors said I probably had h1n1.

If I had h1n1, it was not that bad. Kind of lame. The fever and bodyaches didnt kill me at all. Right now my sinus stuff is bothering me but the 'flu symptoms' laaaaame. Only reason I stayed home was because I had to, they won't let you go to work if you have a fever.

I found $5 on the floor. Woot. Rich.

ta da fever is gone! Yay.

Have to go back to work tomorrow. Booo

I got resick yesterday. I had a fever, body aches (i thought the flu but highly doubt it) and a cough. Took some advil yesterday and has felt fine since then besides the fact I still have a cough, hence the fact doubt it was the flu. I was hoping to be sick enough to miss work, but no I keep getting these crappy little colds that drag me along.

I have to train a new girl this week. Argh. I hate training. I dont go by the book and having to train her I have to. Grrr. Plus, having to watch someone (and have someone breath down my neck) is boring as hell. I feel bad for person and...rush them along. Offer to let them work the computer, bring patients back, give shots. Watching someone for 8 hours is aweful.

Im sick, when Im sick I act like im dying. Its not that bad of a sickness either. Its mainly stuffyness with sometimes the flood gates open but I can sleep breathing through my mouth, I have to breath through my nose. So last night was not a good sleep night, I woke poor Emmanuel up too. I used Afrin (I <3 Afrin, I would like to be there spokesperson) but you can only use it three days in a row before it stops working. This makes me sad. The fact that I have just a cold pisses me off. If I'm sick I want a knock out, can't get out of bed sick. Im just lingering around being miserable. I was about to get off tomorrow morning for work. It was my 10 hour day and that would've been aweful.

Emmanuel is getting me some lipton chicken noodle soup. Mmmm and Vicks. Ahhh.

Im a tetris junkie. I love tetris. I found this website, www.tetrisfriends.com. Great website.

So I've been going to the gym for a week or so now. I try going every other day but it never ends up like that. Tomorrow I work 10hrs, Wednesday is my moms birthday and Saturday I have a wedding to go to.

Mind you I've never been a runner, I use to walk the mile in school. Saturday I ran/walk 2 miles in 40 minutes (I run every other song on my IPod), today I ran 2 miles in 35 minutes. I'm pleased with myself. Woot

I had more energy today too. Granted I've been off for three days so that may be it. It be nice if its my birth control but its to soon to tell =o\

Off to go eat dinner. Peace

My cute cop neighbor that is never home is moving out. I saw him loading his truck up and i was like "are you moving" and he was like "yeah you still have one cop next to you though" lol. Im thinking he is moving in with a girlfriend hince why hes never home lol.

I started the nuvaring the OB/GYN suggested I try when I met with him. Obviously every thing has its good and bads but he made it sound so much more appealing than taking the pill. I have to admit its not that bad at all. Its in there and its staying. Hasnt slipped or fallen out at all. I'm going to the gym tomorrow so we'll see lol.

I also got my bloodwork done. I had a ferritin, CBC, and Vit. D level checked. Everything came back normal. Meh lol. Its not like I want it to come back all out of whack but knowing why im always tired would be nice. I shouldve checked my thyroid but oh well.

Emmanuel got me a net book. It was a surprise (and secretly knew he would surprise me with it). He also got me a nice little case and a 2 year protection plan because god knows i need that with my computers. Im going to send my lap top in to be fixed so the disc drive works so if i want to listen to music or watch a dvd i will use that for the time being.

The apartment building shut off the air conditioning. Im fine, emmanuel is complaining its so hot.

I think thats it for now. I have three whole days off woot.

Oh and I have been at Bull Run Family Practice for two years. Longest job ever. Woot again.

Emmanuel bought me a net book. I *heart* him

Havent been on line a lot lately. (if this entry is completely a mess its because im using emmanuels ergonomic (SP?) keyboard). My lap top had a virus...or 5...I had turned my internet off and waited for Emmanuel to get home to delete them. Well he gets home, pissed off I didnt have an antivirus. Finds a free 30 day one for me on line but then my internet wont work. He thinks he knows whats wrong with it but it takes a lot for him to sit down and concentrate on it. =o\ Im thinking about getting a new lap top. The thought of getting a net book has intrigued me. We use them at work. Emmanuel says for what I use the computer for it would be all I would need. Downside: no disc drive (i could buy one and hook it in my usb though), I couldn't play games, I occasionally get in the mood to play WOW or something, and....there borderline annoying small lol. But I dont watch movies on my lap top now. My disc drive currently doesnt work and the thing is out dated. Emmanuel said he would help me pay for it (he says it cost like $400). I rather have like...ooo i dunno an engagement ring or something lol.

Ummm mom and I got in a fight on monday. Its a long story so I wont get into it. I thought we were better since then but she emails me thursday saying she is 'still ticked off about monday' and that she is 'disappointed in my actions and will not be going with me to see Nicholas Sparks' That kind of ticked me off. I dont know what the purpose of that e-mail was. If you didnt want to go then just say so. Then she comments on my facebook about the book signing and ask me questions and when I called cause we were lost she sounded happy to hear from me. WTF? So im annoyed with her.

I met Nicholas Sparks. He was awesome. We got there a little bit late so we were near the end of the line. He usually gets there early to take pics with people in line but didnt make it that far. I did take pics with him when he signed my book. I had bought a poster of The Notebook to sign but he was signing ONLY the book. A little disappointing but thats ok. Something is better than nothing.

I've been having weird ass dreams lately. Last night I took melatonin which is why I think I had a weird dream. It was about this guy i've known since pre-k and I remember in 10th grade we had english together and he had a burn on his hand and I asked him why he said he burned his hand on his bong. It was the first person I knew that had smoked pot. I was SO disappointed in him. Plus I had a huge crush on him as the time so that annoyed me. But anyways, in my dream we had met after not seeing each other since 10th grade (i think he moved or dropped out, he just disappeared) and he was a heroine addict. He looked and acted exactly the same though. He didnt looked drugged out. He was so awesomely sweet and awesome and I was trying to convince him to stop the drugs and stuff. Then I woke up. Then in another dream Emmanuel was like Edward from Twilight and he broke up with me for my own good to protect me and stuff (kind of like New Moon) and then I woke up again lol. Weird dreams.

I went on facebook to add my friend that I had the dream about. I was spelling his name wrong and after finding him in the yearbook i finally found him on facebook. Hopefully he uses his facebook and adds me. I know he knows who I am. We haven't spoken since 10th grade but how many people do you know for 12 years? (since we met pre-k)

We have friends coming over to watch the season premiere of Dexter. First time someone minus family has come to the apartment. We're making dinner and stuff. Im suppose to be cleaning. Boo. I have SO much to do and emmanuel works all day so im doing it solo. =o(

Im reading Nicholas Sparks latest book, The Last Song, and hes bringing it back out school like A Walk to Remember. Young love type of story i believe. Its good. Nice change from his recent books. =o) I dont want to go to work tomorrow. I worked maybe 2 hours of OT today (when it was my half day) because someone called out. I dont want to exhaust myself and who knows if Im going to reach 40 hours but im going to try really hard! lol

This came up at a conversation at a bachorlette party. Im very intrigue and hope they come to an area soon lol.

http://www.puppetryofthepenis.com/

If you go to videos and push the caldendar video it shows pictures. My friend says they can do 150 different...shapes. Im amazed. I feel the need to ask guys if they play with themselves in the shower or something lol